ALL ABOARD

Ever notice when a government-sponsored program goes snap, crackle and bust, it's an independent government agency.

The US post office should come to mind, along with several others like Amtrak, Freddie and Fanny and from what we read Sally Mae's sucking O2 from a respirator. Some even claim it's the next bubble headed to Burst City. Rumor is Sally's got an Amtrak ticket all paid for and ready.

One psychiatrist we know given this news recently told us he's handing out to all his patients a copy of his latest pamphlet, "Get Your Hard Hats Ready, Taxpayers." He claims it works circles around Paxil for new-onset or recurring depression.

Trouble is there are many of these independent or privately-run government agencies, like the Federal Reserve Bank. Most of them get deep-sixed for one simple reason. But that's the problem, don't try to tell anyone. It's too painful, too-clear cut, too simple. You'll have social anthropologists calling you out for some of their latest drivel, ethnocentricity.

If you haven't heard of it you've probably been keeping your Neanderthal gray matter away from the New York Times, not a bad hobby if you're looking for one

For those of you who don't sport scruffy greying beards and wear phony ruffled blue denim work shirts, ethnocentricity is one academia's latest attempts to explain why we're all biased. In short, it's because you were raised by the parents you were raised by and grew up in the neighborhood you grew up in. That is, unless you're from Hope, Arkansas.

In a recent Bloomberg piece one poor, benighted soul, lamenting Amtrak's wretched financial state, wrote: "One way or another, fixing Amtrak will require congressional action." 

Now that's like taking a bite from the bureaucrat that bit you in the first place.

The best, most humane way to end Amtrak's woes is to start the IV drip now.