CLAIRVOYANT AARDVARKS

Ran into an old friend the other day. We hadn't seen each other for a while. I'm always interested in what he has to say.

Harry's a trader. A contrarian to the core. Years ago when we we first met, I asked what he traded. 

"Everything from bonds to wives," he said, with a slight chuckle.

He's now on his fifth I think. But it's not his expertise as a wife picker I'm interested in though I think some might hold that against him. It's the old book-by-its-cover syndrome. Harry's has a good track record doing what few can really do, calling it correct and making money. And he's made some serious money.

We decided to have lunch over some Italian fare at a little strip-mall joint not far from LAX. Harry's a peripatetic soul. He likes to visit companies and countries. He calls it up close and in the flesh.

"What's your take on the bond market?" I asked, as he slid into the booth across from me and we ordered some tortellini with a bottle of Tuscan red to wash it down.

"Reminds me of my third wife."

"How's that?"

"We're in a state of if-we-don't-look-it-might-go away. She finally did too, took half my grubstake with her."

"That must've stung?"

"Every good trader has to know how to take a loss," he said, laughing at the memory.

"U.S. equities got that PT feeling to them," he said, taking a sip of wine.

"PT?"

"You been watching money flows? Money's been flowing lately into mutuals funds and ETF's faster than Bernanke can print the stuff. Most of it from retail crowd. While back they wanted no part of the action. Peak time."

"So what are you buying now?"


"Two words. Hard assets. Real things. I think when Helicopter Ben gets done, we'll see some inflation, not that it isn't already out there. Contrary to what many seem to think, it doesn't have to be '80-81-like to do some serious damage."

"Why's that?"

"Things are different, much worse. Europe, Japan, half the damn world. But who's going to tell you that, the Fed, Obama?  One of my ex's?  Look, in 80-81 nobody wanted 30-year bonds paying 14-15%. Now everyone it seems except you and me and Murphy want these anemic-yielding afterbirths."

"Who's Murphy?"

"My neighbor's pet aardvark. He shorted bonds last week."

"Harry, what the hell are you saying?"

"I'm saying my neighbor's pet aardvark can see what others can't or don't want to or refuse to see. This lobster is way over cooked. The can't-don't-want-refuse-to-see crowd are running this asylum. Reservations not needed."

We finished the Tuscan red, I dropped Harry at the airport and headed south toward the OC to look for a pet shop. Maybe I can find one willing to do a trade, my pit bull, Bubba, for a clairvoyant aardvark.

Just thinking about the Wall Street potential started my wallet pulsating.