Before the results rolled in election eve, one political party was setup to hold an orgasm. That orgasm turned out to be fake.
The only fake in the alleged fake news that twisted the election was Hillary. She kept faking she was an honest person until the fake news outfit CNN decided to feed her questions in the debates via another fake, a Clinton insider who was faking it that she was not herself a faker.
Now the fake Facebook is going to start investigating the real fakers, the SNL crowd. They just did a fake show about the fake MSM. And one fake news story just broke that CNN fake anchor Wolf Bliter's real name is Fake Blitzer and, even more important, the champagne he was seen on television drinking celebrating the fake stand-in for Hillary after her fake nomination was fake.
Someone just told us Bob Schiffer called the whole thing a disgraceful fake. It turns out the Schiffer at those debates was allegedly fake. That was allegedly a department store manikin owned by a fake Las Vegas ventriloquist. But the really big news is all the Weiner tubes were fake, including the kid in one of them. Weiner's estranged wife was reported after the election shedding fake tears. But the one that really got us is the one that just came to light: that cigar Bill Clinton passed to Arafat was fake, or so goes the fake news report. Talk about cheap bastards. Some people are just fakes and, oh yea, that estranged wife of Weiner, she's supposedly a fake spy for Saudi Arabia.
And damn those fake Russians faking all those faking hacking jobs. Someone noted--now this one is probably really fake--those Russian hackers hacked into purple Bill's account to see if all those dickings some fake claimed were fake or not while fake Hillary was faking being out of town. Now another fake story making the rounds is a fake Scandinavian country just cut back their fake donations to the fake Clinton Foundation owing to decreased fake influence since Hillary faked her win in the recent fake election some fake Broadway performers find the results appalling.
Those fake WikiLeaks and that fake FBI director brought all this fake stuff on. On Election Day we personally saw a lot of fake voters lining up to fake it. One even strolled over to another fake voter, handed him a stack of fake ballots and was overheard to say: "The hell with it. They only paid me to vote six times and this last one was my 17th fake vote for fake Hillary. Fake it! I'm goin' home!"
We heard later the guy's real job was being a fake stand-in in fake Hollywood. We didn't bother to check it out because it is probably fake, but we heard he also worked as a letter writer for Jeffery Katzenberg. That sounds to us like a real fake. But maybe this isn't. George Stephanopoulos and his wife allegedly faked their escape to Canada. Somebody reported they saw a fake Mark Cuban and Cher on the same Iranian airlines. Cuban supposedly was wearing a fake Maverick shirt turned inside out and a baseball cap with the initials BO. He was lip sinking out loud some fake questions he had for the Ayatollah. We can't say for sure, but someone said they were just warmed over fake ones he was going to ask Trump.
A few minutes later a fake hearse pulled up and a couple of fake attendants wearing fake blue T-shirts saying "Together We Fake Things" hurriedly carried two coffins to the rear of the poling place. Now we didn't get a look inside those coffins, but one bystander who claimed he did was going around telling anyone who would listen one of them looked like a faked John Podesta and the other like a fake Tony, John's fake DC lobbyist brother.That didn't bother us too much until a big blue election bus pulled up and stopped to drop some fake human feces into a public drain that runs to the fake Pacific Ocean. At that point some fake climate change people came out and started boarding the bus, singing not my feces.
All this faking is getting out of hand, governments faking job and other numbers and now you got one of the original fakers from Facebook coming after the real fakers. Sooner or later a lot of people are going to have to be told to go fake themselves.
In the meantime we wish everyone a happy faked Thanksgiving.
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